On Top of Old Smoky

Evening Campers!

Greetings from the Volunteer State.... Tennessee! Specifically we are in the Tri-Cities tonight. What? Did you say "what tri-cities"? Why Kingsport, Bristol and Johnson City, of course... the three chambered heart of Eastern Tennessee! (hey...watch it... amphibians and reptiles have three chambered hearts and they do just fine as long as they lounge in the sun) If we were any farther east in Tennessee we'd be in North Carolina or any farther north in Virginia. If you think about Tennessee being a parallelogram, with the right top being pointed, we are in that point.

"How'd you and Mrs. C' wind up there, Silver Cliche'?", I hear you ask... well, Campers... that's today's story....

We began the day living the life of the neanderthal people... with no cell phone service and no internet. We were so far removed from modern life that when we checked into Smokemont campground the helpful park ranger said "There is no sill phone service here in the pork... " (she spoke "southern"... that's translates to "cell phone" and "park" for those of you north of the Mason Dixon... you're welcome) "...if you need hayelp there is a phone on the wall on the back of this here ranger's station and you all can use it to call 9-1-1." If the time warp we fell into had been powered by a slightly stronger source she probably would have said "There's a pay phone in a booth behind the mastodon barn over yonder... bring your own dime."

It was cold by Florida standards this morning. Probably in the upper 50's but we didn't have one of those devices that tells temperature and as I've said there was no internet to tell us what the temperature was in our locale. In Florida we have a term that describes days that start in the 50's. We call it "winter". We looked outside and it appeared cloudy and probably drizzly since the pavement was damp. So, we made coffee and ate fried bread made from the homemade 100% stone ground whole wheat dinner rolls that came out of the freezer yesterday. Geez! You have a lot of questions today. Let me explain... when we don't have electricity to make the toaster work we substitute with "fried bread". The preparation involves putting a little butter in a fry pan over the propane stove, slicing the rolls, placing them sliced-side down in the butter and waiting until they brown. Think of it as toast that comes out with the butter melted, or a grilled cheese without the cheese. Anyway, it goes great with some scrambled eggs or a ham and cheese omelet which is just what we had.

After eating and getting cleaned up and dressed (I switched to long pants for the first time since Yellowstone and a long sleeve tee shirt and a flannel shirt to protect myself from the bitter cold) we opened the door to the trailer. Guess what? It was still cold (barely 60) but it was sunny and the sky was clearing. Even though it was 9:00 AM the sun had not made it into the deep ravine in which we were camped. I stepped out to explore and found the following:

A strange caterpillar on my truck:

This beautiful Smoky Mountain stream about 50' behind the camper. This discovery provided an explanation for the apparent increase in my tinnitus while at this campground. Oh, sure, I still have constant ringing in my ears... but the additional hissing was the sound of the babbling brook behind the trailer. I had not heard this much babbling since Congress adjourned.

And while I was standing beside that stream I took this shot of our home on wheels where she kept us safe and warm overnight

So, knowing that we were clear to move on we loaded some cold drinks and the dogs in the truck and headed north deeper into Smoky Mountain National Park. Our destination: Clingman's Dome.

It was only a 30 minute drive to the highest point in the park. However, we started the day at about 1,500 feet above sea level and "the dome" is 6,644. For those of you unfamiliar with driving in the mountains, that difference in elevation over that distance of roadway translates to some steep driving. And it was. This combination of truck and trailer had seen steeper (heading west out of Denver on I-70 and entering the Big Horn National Forest in WY while heading east on US 16 are pretty solid tests of climbing power and we had passed both). Nevertheless, the drive was steep on US 441 North in the park, and narrow, and winding (check the map for yourself... this route includes switchbacks that are visible from space... or at least from the plane that Google Maps flies to take those pictures). We got to Clingman's Dome, or at least to the parking lot and took this picture of the GPS (ignore that dog next to it... that's my driving totem... the Christmas dog):

6,335 feet and 68 degrees. What I had seen on the internet was a concrete tower overlooking beautiful mountain vistas as far as the eye could see. What I didn't realize from the internet was that the trip from the parking lot to that tower was on a half mile trail that included over 300 vertical feet of climbing. However, we had come this far so we set off! Some time later, the tower was in sight and eventually conquered. From those lofty heights I snapped these pics which I present as today's panorama:

That's the curved walkway to the tower in the foreground (most of these panoramas I share with you are taken -- as this was -- with a wide angle lens. That type of lens distorts lines. This walkway in reality is a semicircle that rises about 50 feet from the base to the circular deck where I stood to take the pictures that were assembled into this panorama). I would note that the top of old smoky was not covered in cheese nor was anyone there looking for their meat ball. I'm happy to have cleared that up for those of you who asked for research on the subject.

What do you see in this picture? If you answered "diddly squat" you are correct. On any given day after driving 30 minutes up the mountain and burning enough gasoline to raise a 13,500 lb vehicle over a mile in the sky then climbing for 20 minutes while gasping for air all that the average Clingman's Dome visitor can see is "diddly squat". Very good. Now class, let's ask ourselves the next question "why is that?". Anyone? Anyone? The answer is "because of the 'smoke' in the Smoky Mountains." You might ask yourself "what smoke?". And there is the point of this whole story. There is no smoke. What you see in that picture is very dense fog... or maybe low flying clouds. It really doesn't matter. The fact is the whole "smoky mountain" thing is a gimmick... a marketing ploy... a come on. In reality we were visiting the "foggy mountains" or maybe the "cloudy mountains" and there wasn't going to be "jack" to see because of it. Were we disappointed? Maybe a little. Did we get angry at the deception? No. What we did was what every other visitor to Clingman's Dome does and what Mark Twain would have put into one of his books if he had written in Tennessee instead of Missouri. All the while down the trail we encouraged other hikers struggling to get up the mountain with our new-found good cheer. "You can do it"; "The view from up there is sooooo worth it!"; "Don't quit now or you'll miss the whole thing!". Moments like this unite us as part of the great human experiment. Nothing is so uniting as a group of people being suckered together. "Smoky" my ass....

Just so you know the whole thing wasn't a bust, let me share two more pics. In the tower at the top of Clingman's Dome are four pictorial guides to the view one might have if their fortune takes them to the top on the day of the great smoke out. Here is one of those signs to give you an idea of what lies beyond the fog... er... I mean "smoke" (I don't want to ruin the surprise for future visitors).

I'm sure that on some days this is a stunning view. Note that the "Eastern View" sign includes the thought that on the very clearest of days the highest point in the Eastern US is visible and it is Mt. Mitchell -- a mere 40 feet taller than Clingman's and 73 miles distant.

Finally, here's a panorama taken from the parking lot at Clingman's. It shows a bit more of the vista we had come to see. Don't show this or share our experience with any teenagers because what we learned today is that sometimes hard work and initiative don't pay. It's much better to have them learn that through broken dreams and disillusionment but not until they are over the age of 50. They are sassy enough now as it is.

After wrapping up our Clingman's experience we fired up the truck and continued north. This time it was the brakes that got the workout and within 30 minutes we were below 1,000. We had the choice to head to Gatlinburg or Pigeon Forge to look for lunch. We chose the later. We chose poorly. Pigeon Forge is the "Kissimmee of the North". For those of you who have not had the experience, Kissimmee, FL is the gateway to Disney. That means Kissimmee is the place where any business, service, facility or civil engineering necessity that Disney would not allow on its property landed. It is a 10 mile long string of cheap hotels, all-you-dare-to-eat buffets, power substations, tee shirt shops, mini-golf extravaganzas and such. I'm thinking Kissimmee may be a reclaimed swamp which is the most fitting geographic history I could imagine for a town serving that function. Pigeon Forge and Kissimmee are identical twin sister cities separated at birth. We moved on and ate in the trailer a bit farther down the road. One good thing I can say about Pigeon Forge and Kissimmee (but not Jackson, WY if you rode with us on that trip). These are honest cities. Horrifying, but honest. Neither pretends to be anything other than what it is... the landing spot for a particular type of business or activity that may not be sought after by other communities. There is no perfume on these pigs... it's all pork You've got to respect that.

We arrived at Warrior's Path State Park, TN at about 3:00. There is electricity here... and water... and cell phone service which means internet for us. It's good to be back in civilization.

Tomorrow we move through Virginia and into West Virginia. We have a couple of choices of camping spots since many parks stop taking reservations after Labor Day and it's a walk-in only thing. If the weather is decent I hope to get us past the New River Gorge tomorrow which means pics of the gorge tomorrow night for you all. If we are lazy or delayed we'll camp near the gorge and pass over it on Thursday morning. Tune in tomorrow night to find out.

Good night!

SC'