Thursday, May 5, 2016

At the end of the flat earth there really is a deep canyon (with no internet)

Written Wed Night from Palo Duro Canyon, TX where there was no internet...nada... zilch. Posted Thursday afternoon from Santa Rosa Lake, NM. SC'

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Evenin' Campers! It's Silver Cliche' here with you again. This time from Palo Duro Canyon State Park in Canyon, Texas.

“Silver Cliche', Where is Canyon, Texas?”, I hear you ask. Well, remember yesterday we were talking about the panhandle of Texas… the part you'd grab if there was a box full of Texases all lined up and you wanted to grab one to throw on the grill… right? In that nicely trimmed rectangle of land (it's a Texas sized rectangle) there is only one city you've ever heard of – Amarillo. Amarillo is nearly in the center of that rectangle… actually just a touch to the left of dead center. Canyon is south of there about 15 or 20 miles.

Our trip today was uneventful, unremarkable and essentially unmemorable. I know you think I'm being hard on North Texas, and perhaps I am. There were a few memorable moments. First, we were hoping to stalk and photograph the wiley Road Runner which had been see in Copper Breaks State Park. We drove around a while and... nothing. So we headed out and while leaving the park saw…


Not a bad catch. We tried to call him closer… “Beep Beep!”… “Beep Beep!”. No luck. We used an “Acme Bird Attracter” to lure him in. Nada. In fact, an anvil came out of the sky and made a hole in the ground next to us the size and shape of an anvil (I'm thinking it went clear through and came up in China where it knocked someone out). So, all we got was that one pic.

We moved on. Zero interstate time today! We moseyed through small towns of North Texas. Stopped for gas and set the GPS to the Red Barn Cafe (or something like that. We don't have internet here tonight, so I can't do my usual, thorough “fact checking” on any of this stuff…) in Memphis, Texas population 2,000 +/-. TripAdvisor said it would be good. So after looking over the lunch buffet and considering the menu, we had a split decision. I went for the buffet. Mrs. C' ordered a club sandwich. I figured “how long could a club sandwich take to make” so I asked Mrs. C' if she minded if I attacked the buffet bar while the chef prepared her sandwich. She was good with that. I approached the line and knew what I was going for. You may have concluded by now that I like to “eat local” with the exception of any time I'm in the Rocky Mountains (as you may recall). Here in North Texas, the most “local” thing going was right there on the buffet… chicken fried steak! I took a heaping serving along with spinach and mashed potatoes and a side plate of salad. I headed back to the table. Mrs. C' took one look at what I had done and said “You're not going to eat that, are you?” I anticipated her reaction, had the camera ready and caught the moment to share with you:


I recognize that look as a blend of disapproval and disbelief. Of course, I've earned both of those responses simultaneously often enough in nearly 34 years of marriage to know instantly what I've unleashed. I willingly share that hard earned knowledge with you.

But, eat it I did. When I first sawed open the chicken fried steak (after slashing through the white gravy which I had liberally slathered on the aforementioned steak) I cut into the entree itself and exposed the core. I though Mrs. C' was going to scream with horrified surprise. Instead, she uttered “It's brown inside!”. I said “Of course… its steak.” she shot back “I thought it was fried chicken”. “No” I said “It's chicken fried steak. That means it started as a steak (in this case, cubed steak) which they battered and fried just like the Colonel in Kentucky has done for decades with chicken pieces. Chicken-fried steak.” By then it was too late. The damage had been done to both my reputation and that of the Red Barn Cafe in Memphis, Texas. We ate our lunches (here's a pic on mine in “mid-eat”):



Then we got the dogs and two ice cream bars out of the trailer, piled into the truck and continued to head toward Amarillo.

Now, Mrs. C' and I consider ourselves to be pretty seasoned travelers. We might easily have 1,000,000 driving miles between us, We've driven in at least 45 states. I can say with complete certainty that the Texas Panhandle has the flattest, most featureless terrain I have ever driven on. We went for miles and mile without seeing anything except road, fence posts, phone poles and distant power lines (big ones). There were occasional herds of cattle of every variety. There were Angus, Longhorns and Brahmas all mixed together in celebrations of cattle diversity. What there was not was indication of human settlement and civilization. There are not even oil pumps or wind farms out here. And in middle America, that's forgotten. It was so desolate that I expected the “Pass with Care” signs to end and be replaced with “Drive in either lane… it really doesn't matter”. Along the way on US 287 there were numerous dirt or gravel crossroads. These were generally unmarked and led to absolutely nowhere… they headed straight off and eventually disappeared over a slight rise. I still believe that deep space is the closest thing in the universe to a place that is totally empty. The Texas Panhandle is second. I'm sure you think I'm exaggerating. I knew you would. I can feel the skepticism radiating back at me through the internet. Ok, smart guy (or gal… you can read that sentence with the appropriate choice for yourself using the gender with which you identify. This is America 2016 and the law in many states requires me to offer you that choice) I now present you with “the Silver Cliche' Driving Experience”. This is a three picture panel snapped in rapid succession on a typical stretch of US 287 in North Texas somewhere outside of Amarillo. If you look at the center of the pic then shift your head rapidly to the left then to the right you will see what Mrs. C' and I saw for endless hours today. I'd recommend that you stare at this picture for about 2 hours or until the need for a bathroom break makes you stop. That's what Mrs. C' and I did. I'll wait… yawn… stretch… snore… there, now do you believe me?

 

Ok so by about 3:00 we pulled into the park and checked in for our campsite. Palo Duro is remarkable for many reasons, not the least of which is that within the barren landscape I just shared with you suddenly a huge gulf appears. Palo Duro is called “the Grand Canyon of Texas” by Texans. I understand that the people at The Grand Canyon (where we will be in 10 days) when told of that said “Huh?”. The canyon itself is about 800' deep from rim to bottom. The campsites are on the canyon floor (try doing that at the Grand Canyon… a 5,000' descent from the camp office to the campsite!). We arrived at our campsite and set up. We fed and walked the dogs, and I headed out to take some pics. After that, I made dinner (grilled sweet potatoes, grilled cheeseburgers and petite peas) and settled in to write and edit pics. It's an impressive landscape and one to warm us up for what's ahead. The campground has roaming wild turkeys including this old guy and a youngster he seemed to be pursuing. Mrs. C' said leave it to one old turkey to read the mind of another. Lucky for her I had already cooked and served her meal before hearing that.


So, I leave you tonight with the panorama of the day (no, the “driving experience” wasn't it). A view of some cliffs of the canyon taken from a spot just above our campsite. From where I am sitting now in my recliner in the trailer I can see the tallest point just to the right of the middle of this pic):

 

Good night, Campers. Tomorrow night from Santa Rosa Lake, New Mexico… the land of enchantment. Texas has been nice (and finally, dry) but I'm ready to be enchanted.

SC'

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